I’m Not Everyone’s Cup of Tea

What was I meant to learn from this experience?

I’ve heard several times that when you start healing, it can get really lonely. And now? I’m getting a taste of what that actually means — and damn, it sucks.

After doing an initial purge of people from my life, I realized how much I crave deep connection and community. I’m not who I used to be, and the people I was surrounded by didn’t match my current vibration anymore. I’m no longer bending over backwards, people-pleasing, or making myself small just to fit in.

That’s a FUCK NO for me.

So I’ve been putting myself out there, trying to build a new community — but what I’m finding is that I seem to trigger the hell out of people. They think I’m “too much” for their comfort zone.

I recently had an encounter with a group at a brewery that started out feeling so fun and inviting. I felt confident that night. I was being myself. But as the night went on, I noticed one of the guys seemed to pull back — like he was uncomfortable. I didn’t think much of it at the time and went home feeling okay about the night.

The next day, they invited me to brunch and I did some tarot readings for them. I could tell they were skeptical — it was hard to have an honest, open reading because their energy was pretty guarded. Still, I had a good time, and since I was heading out of town for a while, I let them know I’d reconnect when I got back.

Well, I reached out to the girl in the group to let her know I was back in town and…

Silence.

How was I being a mirror for others?

Of course, I started to overthink.
What did I do?
Did I mess up?
Was I too much?

So many thoughts running through my mind. So, I consulted my tarot deck — and here’s what I learned:

I may have disrupted the group dynamic simply by being open, vulnerable, and fully myself. They may be used to old family patterns where emotions are withheld — where everything looks fine on the surface, but tension simmers underneath. That doesn’t mean they don’t care about each other — it just means that bringing my truth to the table may have made them uncomfortable, especially if they’re not ready for that kind of emotional honesty.

I likely triggered some deeper wounds — possibly around being left out or misunderstood in group dynamics. I came in confident, energetic, and authentic. And to someone who’s not used to that energy, it might have looked like I was trying to dominate the conversation or be the center of attention. That could’ve stirred something in them that had nothing to do with me — and instead of facing it, they pulled back.

My first instinct was to blame myself: I came off too strong, I’ll never make friends like this.
But here’s what I’ve realized:

I no longer have to fight for space or approval in rooms that feel energetically off.

My presence isn’t too much — it’s a spark.
And yes, that spark might make some people uncomfortable, but that doesn’t mean I’m doing anything wrong. I can stand in my truth, even when it feels messy.

This is exactly what I’m healing from — the habit of shrinking, of losing myself in group dynamics just to feel included. I don’t have to do that anymore. I can honor where others are without abandoning who I am.

I’m not apologizing for being real.
Not now. Not ever.

How do I move forward with grace and power?

At first, I wanted to send a message and apologize — “Sorry if I made anyone uncomfortable.” But the more I reflect, the more I realize I can let go of that urge to smooth things over.

I’m not here to blend in — I’m here to create new energy.

Being a lighthouse does trigger the f*ck out of people sometimes. And honestly? It’s really hard not to take that personally — especially when I know I’m just showing up as myself, unintentionally becoming a catalyst for someone else’s growth.

I genuinely want to find my people — my tribe.
The ones who will love me unconditionally and welcome my light into their world without flinching.
These moments? They’re the true tests of staying in your power. Of choosing alignment over people-pleasing.

Because here’s the truth I keep coming back to:

You are a light — and light exposes things.
That’s not always easy for people. But it’s never wrong.
When others shy away from your warmth or brightness, remember:
✨ You were never meant to dim to be loved. ✨

Your joy, your truth, your presence — they are gifts.
The right people won’t just tolerate them —
They’ll rise to meet them.

💡 Ready to reclaim your light and stop shrinking for others?
My You Are Free workbook + monthly guidance can help you stay grounded in your truth while navigating messy relationships and shifting dynamics.
✨ Learn more or grab your copy here — your power is waiting.

5 Simple Ways to Start Taking Your Power Back

1. Pay Attention to Your Body
If something feels off—like your chest tightens, your stomach sinks, or you feel drained—that’s your body trying to tell you the truth. You don’t need to explain it. Just notice it.

2. Write a Letter to Your Younger Self
Imagine the little version of you is sitting next to you. What would you say to help them feel safe and loved? Write it down. Let them know you’re here now—and they’re not alone anymore.

3. Practice Saying One Loving No
You don’t need to change everything overnight. Just try saying no one time today to something that doesn’t feel good. You can be kind and still protect your peace.

4. Create a 5-Minute Check-In
Start a tiny ritual just for you. Light a candle, write one sentence in a journal, take a deep breath, or pull a card if you’re into that. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about reconnecting to you.

5. Look for Your People
Spend time with people who make you feel safe, heard, and supported. Even if it’s just one person or an online space—it matters. You don’t have to do this alone.

✨ Comment below if this resonated. What’s one step you're taking today to choose yourself? Let's build a community of healing and unconditional love—together.

Next Steps

1. If you found this blog helpful, check out my other posts on healthy relationships and self-care. If you're struggling, consider reaching out to a therapist or support group for help.

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