I’m Not Sorry. I’m Living.
What if love didn’t require you to shrink?
What if love wasn’t something you had to earn by staying quiet, being agreeable, or performing perfectly? What if the version of love you were taught was more about control than connection?
This is the journey I’ve been on—and it’s one I’m finally ready to speak out loud.
The Price of Being Liked
Growing up, I learned that being liked and agreeable meant I would be loved. Especially when it came to religion. I was taught to perform to earn love—to play the part, to follow the rules, and to be “good.” But that kind of love always felt conditional. If I didn’t agree with the teachings, I was told I was going to hell.
So I kept the peace. I became the family peacekeeper. I went along with things that didn’t resonate with me just to avoid conflict. All I really wanted was to be loved unconditionally. Now, I see that was a fantasy I can no longer live in.
Shame, Silence, and Control
Religion didn’t just shape my beliefs—it shaped how I saw myself. It taught me shame. It taught me to hide. I was told that if I didn’t accept Jesus into my heart, I’d face eternal death. If I wasn’t perfect—if I had sex before marriage, used swear words, or challenged authority—I was labeled as “wrong.”
The pressure to conform left me ashamed of being human. And even worse, it disconnected me from my own intuition.
Questioning the Narrative
I began to question what I was taught. For example, why would a God who “unconditionally” loves us send us to hell? That’s not unconditional love—that’s fear disguised as faith.
Unconditional love means loving someone fully, flaws and all, without demanding anything in return. So why were we expected to follow strict rules and deny our inner knowing just to be deemed worthy?
I Believe in Something Deeper
I believe in God—but not the version of God I was raised with. I believe in spirit, in tarot, in divine guidance that comes from within. I believe we are autonomous, divinely guided beings—not puppets being controlled from above.
When we constantly look outside ourselves for answers, we lose trust in our own truth. The rules I was raised with weren’t there to protect me—they were there to control me. And I’m done living in that system.
Freedom Through Self-Acceptance
Today, I’m choosing to reclaim my inner knowing. I can love my family and accept where they are, without sacrificing my own truth. I no longer carry the guilt or shame of not fitting the mold they wanted for me.
I am free to be human, to make mistakes, to grow in love—and to help others do the same. My worth is not tied to religious performance. It is rooted in my presence.
The Loneliness of Liberation
Letting go of those beliefs hasn’t been easy. Sometimes, it feels deeply lonely. I want unconditional love—but in my experience, it’s often only available if I share the same religious views.
That realization breaks my heart. But I’ve made a commitment to never abandon myself again. I can give myself the love I’ve always needed. I’ve learned that other people’s choices aren’t a reflection of my worth—they’re a reflection of their awareness.
Accepting and Releasing
I’ve accepted that my family may never change. And so, I’ve shifted focus. I accept them for who they are—and I’m calling in the people who will love me without needing me to shrink.
My strength and independence make some people uncomfortable. My growth triggers their fears. I’ve been called erratic, even unsafe, just for following my intuition. But the truth is, my intuition has led me to the best things in life.
I’m not too much. I’m exactly who I’m meant to be.
Choosing Myself—Without Apology
My personal power looks like choosing me. It means stepping away from spaces that stifle my growth. It means setting boundaries and loving myself enough to honor them.
I’m not sorry. I’m living.
Healing the Inner Child
My inner child never got to be who she was. She had to smile, perform, and make everyone else comfortable while forgetting her own needs. But now? I hear her. I see her. And I protect her.
When someone tries to silence her, I step in. I remove her from the room. I choose peace over people-pleasing. She deserves to feel safe to be fully expressed. And I don’t need anyone’s permission to be who I am.
Why I’m Sharing This
I feel nervous sharing this publicly—which is exactly why I have to. The part of me that fears rejection is the very part I’m here to free.
I no longer accept love that comes with conditions. I still love my family. Deeply. But I won’t sacrifice myself for their comfort. I choose myself first when I’m not met with the same respect.
Walking Away from the Fantasy
I’m emotionally walking away from the fantasy of what I thought family should be. It’s heavy—but at the same time, it’s a huge weight off my shoulders. I feel lighter. I feel free.
Free to let my soul explore. Free to build a life that aligns with my truth.
If This Resonates—You’re Not Alone
If you’ve felt like love came with strings attached... If you’ve been silenced or shamed into submission... If you’ve ever questioned what you were taught and felt alone in doing so—this is your sign.
5 Steps to Start Reclaiming Your Power Today
Listen to Your Body: Pay attention to when something feels heavy or wrong. That’s your truth speaking.
Write to Your Inner Child: Reassure them that they’re safe and seen now.
Set One Loving Boundary: Just one. Practice saying no with love.
Create a Daily Ritual: Journal, meditate, pull a tarot card—whatever brings you home to yourself.
Find Your People: Surround yourself with those who celebrate your truth.
✨ Comment below if this resonated. What’s one step you're taking today to choose yourself? Let's build a community of healing and unconditional love—together.
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